This post is more about my thinking rather than any particular event. I mentioned what I thought about my 'miraculous' recovery and how it didn't feel miraculous a few posts ago in regard to writing a book about my experiences but I have been doing some more thinking about it this week so you have to put up with a more complete post about it.
Nearly everyone I meet, if I know them, wants to tell me how amazing or miraculous (or some other similar superlative) my recovery is. It doesn't really matter but I don't like talking about it because generally I can think of better things to talk about. The main thing, however, is that I don't like talking about it because it feels immodest because it implies that my efforts are amazing or miraculous when it's probably all a matter of luck or something else outside of my control.
This probably seems like a funny thing to think about, but people bring it up so often that if you are at all uncomfortable about it you are forced to deal with it.
My parents point out that I can't remember how bad I was when I was in hospital and that it probably seems amazing or miraculous to those who can. While this might be true (I have remembered some more pre-accident stuff but early April is still my earliest memory post-accident) it doesn't change the fact that I feel slightly uncomfortable about it.
My Dad was telling a close family friend and a former chemistry buddy of his about things shortly after my accident and they hoped that the "variance would be my friend." By that, they mean that my recovery would, hopefully, be above average. Indeed, it seems the variance has been my friend and there is lots to remind me of how easily things could have been so much worse. Again though, I feel uncomfortable that my recovery could be attributed to much more than good luck or some other outside force.
My thinking this week was based around what to say when people start talking about it. I discussed the issue with family, Cavit staff and a few unfortunate close friends. The best idea came from my physio, Sue, who said that if people try and tell me my recovery is miraculous I should change the subject by saying that miracles are for French peasants.
It seems inevitable that people are going to say whatever comes to mind though, so I thought the problem is probably with my definition of immodesty rather than with other people. Perhaps, it's not immodest to accept but not endorse such comments. So, now I'm going to accept such comments but offer none of my own views on them.
This probably seems like an awfully long thought process to arrive at a simple conclusion, but that's the price of doing my best to keep my modesty, I guess.
Cheers,
Mike
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7 comments:
Hi Mike
So good to read your old voice speaking again.
I remember telling your Mum while you were lying unconscious looking pretty bashed around that there would be ups and downs in your recovery that just had to be ridden through.
Luckily your progress seems to have been far more steadily upward than anyone could have dared to hope then. But there are bound to be frustrating times too.
All part of the miracle of life we all share, I think.
Thumbs up, and keep it rolling.
Cheers
Alan & Pat & family
I think people are just so relieved about your recovery when it could so easily have gone the other way that they use superlatives Take some credit for your perseverence and those of your family susi
Great thoughts Mike
Happy Birthday Bryce
Super to have you wandering along the Beach to us the last couple of weekends.
I will always use superlatives!!!!
Kay and Hallam
Mike it was great to have you round last week
I was impressed with your Japanese when conversing with our 4 visitors.
Your potato mashing skills are A1 please come again
look forward to catching up
Jo
Hi Mike,
As discussed earlier with you, I agree with Susi in that I think at least part of your recovery has to be attributed to your family, your perseverance and strong character/intellect, and I guess luck fits in there somewhere also.
Good to hear you are still very much a theorist.
Take care,
Lou
Mike,
I had not been following your progress over the last two months, so was incredibly pleased and surprised to read your own writing about "recovery". And, I enjoyed reading the news article. Tremendous news. The article mentions your intention to pursue graduate studies. I recall that it was your interest in graduate studies that led you to contact me initially.
Angela and I have been traveling around the Southeast United States for the last two months. We bought a caravan and a big van to pull it, and drove 5,000 miles through some beautiful country in the Ozarks and Appalachian Mountains. I am now an independent consultant to CRA Intl, and will be teaching at Boston University from next month. Also planning to teach at Univ of Auckland early next year, so perhaps we might be able to meet early next year.
Anyway, that's our news, even though it is not as dramatic as yours. Again, tremendous news.
Alister Hunt
Hi Happy,
I haven't posted for ages but have still been checking everyday, even though I know roughly when there'll be something new these days! It's always great to read of your progress and philosophies.
It's less than a week now until Molly and I will be back in NZ for a short break. We'd really like to catch up with you on Friday the 2nd but will be back from the 1st til the 6th (effectively with flight times etc) so can meet up anytime within then. I guess I'll get in touch with you via Phil sometime early next week.
Look forward to seeing to soon.
Cheers,
Mike H.
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