Any suggestions anyone for simple (eg one-liner) jokes that might trigger Mike's trademark smile? So far he has smiled twice, a great morale booster. Another idea would be for amusing anecdotes that might stimulate Mike's long-term memory.
Thanks
Mike's Dad
14 comments:
Hi Wilkinsons
I've been racking my brain for an amusing anecdote to help Mike's recovery.
Mikes' long term memory may be triggered by his unhealthy facination with the comfort of a G-String.
Also, I used to think Mike was a bit of a whiz in the kitchen until he gave me campylobacter from some undercooked chicken - that always amused him.
All the best with the recovery
Dave
The Patu family of Hukerenui are thinking of you Mike.
Amazed by the hype around the Ironman.We thought the big deal was the Northland beach to basin 10 km walk!!! on Sunday when Sal and I broke the 2 hours. We've left room for improvement
Marg and Gav Bird are thinking of you. We remember the time you came to Cooks Beach and you and Kent went fishing, with the seagull motor, on the dingy, not too sure how many snapper you caught! - a great day was had by all. All the best
Happy mate,
have been keepin up to date with your progress thanks to this awesome site, Happy birthday!
a couple of a good semi clean jokes, hmmm. Here's a couple that always make me crack up and are sure to put a smile on Happy's face!
A man went to a psychiatrist wearing nothing but glad wrap. He says 'doc, i've got a problem.' 'Yeah' says the doc 'i can clearly see your nuts!'
and another
A man takes his dog to the vet. The vet picks it up and gives it a quick once over, then says 'well your dogs cross-eyed and i'm gonna have to put her down. 'What! the man says, because she's cross-eyed. No says the vet, cos shes bloody heavy.
Hope they bring a smile.
Thinking of you and your family Mike.
Cheers
Vossy
CHCH
Mike called anyone who trained for triathons a TG or "tri geek" he also refered to himself as one. This might spark a chuckle.
Also- Mike on the few (and only few!!) occaisons I forgot some training gear, Mike emailed me a triathlon check list document each time.
Also I believe there were a few funny stories at Endurance Camp that someone will be able to tell??
Louisa
Hi Lee and Bryce
Just found out about this site from Natasha. Brilliant idea.
Thinking of you all often. Trying to think of an economics joke...but as that may take some time, will send this on anyway!!
Aroha
Lesley Moffat
What do you call a field full of
Australians? A vacant lot.
What's the difference between yoghurt and Australians? At least yoghurt has a little culture.
The Englishman,the Scotsman and the Australian were trying to get into the Barcelona Olympic Games without paying. The Englishman got a long stick and sharpened the end to a point. He went to the gate and said"David Mitchell,England, Javelin" And was allowed to enter.The Scot got a tennis ball,rubbed off the fluff and went up to the gate. "Sandy Mcgregor,Scotland. Shot putt!" He too was allowed to enter. The Australian found a scrap of barbwire left behind by the building contractors and said"Bluey Morgan,Australia,fencing"
Australian jokes from Gerrards Main beach.
keep improving Mike!
Hello Wilkinsons
Just a note to say I am thinking of you all often and following Mike's progress.
Love and best wishes
Jackie Vaughan.
Well there was the first time I tasted beer, (this being at the Wilkinsons one christmas I believe) though I can't remember it I am told my facial expressions were rather amusing..........
Mike's cuzy bro - Greg
Liindsay and Cathy thought Mike may find some of these amusing. They are actual label instructions on overseas consumer goods.
On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
On Sainsbury's peanuts --
"Warning: contains nuts."
On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands
Great to hear about his progress - keep up the great work Mikey! Can't think of any jokes suitable for hospital, all far to rude - but will work on it!
Thinking of you all,
Lots of love
Alex
Here are a few Economist jokes I have dug up. Not that I am an authority on whether they are funny or not...
In fact, most of them I didn't understand!
Sorry some are a bit long.
BTW,
One other thing: Before you all say "I've heard it before" or something to that effect, remember that is the idea!
1)
Three people are stranded on a small island. One is a physicist, one is a circus strongman, and one is an economist. After a few days of surviving on fruit, they discover a cache of canned food, and they have to decide how to open it. The physicist says to the strongman "Why don't you climb that tree, and smash the cans down on the rocks, and burst them open?"
The strongman says, "No, that would spatter the stuff all over. I can open the cans with my teeth!"
The economist says "First, we must assume that we have a can opener."
2)
An economics professor and a student were strolling through the campus.
"Look," the student cried, "there's a $100 bill on the path!"
"No, you are mistaken," the wiser head replied. "That cannot be. If there were actually a $100 bill, someone would have picked it up."
3)
How many economists does it take to change a light bulb?
None. If it really needed changing, market forces would have caused it to happen.
None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
4)
An economist and an accountant are walking along a large puddle. They get across a frog jumping on the mud. The economist says: "If you eat the frog I'll give you $20,000!"
The accountant checks his budget and figures out he's better off eating it, so he does and collects money.
Continuing along the same puddle they almost step into yet another frog. The accountant says: "Now, if you eat this frog I'll give you $20,000."
After evaluating the proposal the economist eats the frog and gets the money.
They go on. The accountant starts thinking: "Listen, we both have the same amount of money we had before, but we both ate frogs. I don't see us being better off."
The economist: "Well, that's true, but you overlooked the fact that we've been just involved in $40,000 of trade."
All the best to you and family, Mike.Simon Fraser
Hi Mike and family,
Just thought of a funny story to add to your collection...the story of the undercooked chicken triggered this memory.
It was first year flatting and Mike was cooking for the 6 of us. He was making a Shepards pie and before we ate it, he warned us that it might mot have enough flavour as the recipee required one cup of beef stock and there wasn't quite enough. After taking a bite we soon realsied that something was wrong. Mike had put in the entire jar of beef stock to try and make up a cup full!
Sorry Mike!
Hope this puts a smile on your face.
Lot of love
Kim
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